e-Store
Gifts For All Occasions!
notED Fez
Get rid of those boring old baseball caps! Perfect for a day at the beach or
at the ballgame, this gem of a headdress is great for any occasion and is
sure to generate much interest and conversation.
Lovingly crafted and designed in Morocco, this outstanding hat features full
wool construction, a cute little tassel and full metal fittings of our beloved
linkshell's insignia.
On the other hand, it can't keep the sun out of your eyes and doesn't do a
whole lot except make your head real sweaty. Which kind of explains why
WE control the world, and they don't.
One size fits all. US$650.00 (Free shipping and handling)
Get rid of those boring old baseball caps! Perfect for a day at the beach or
at the ballgame, this gem of a headdress is great for any occasion and is
sure to generate much interest and conversation.
Lovingly crafted and designed in Morocco, this outstanding hat features full
wool construction, a cute little tassel and full metal fittings of our beloved
linkshell's insignia.
On the other hand, it can't keep the sun out of your eyes and doesn't do a
whole lot except make your head real sweaty. Which kind of explains why
WE control the world, and they don't.
One size fits all. US$650.00 (Free shipping and handling)
What better way to show your
team colors and be unique at
the same time? Get yours today!
team colors and be unique at
the same time? Get yours today!
notED Moonshine
Life getting you down? Want to forget your troubles? Kids won't go to sleep when you want
to play FFXI? Don't know what wine goes with what food? Well don't fret! Help is at hand!
With the notED Moonshine, you can solve all the aforementioned problems...and more!
Great for all occasions, the notED Moonshine is the perfect beverage whether you want to
drown the sad burdens of your miserable life or impress that all important first date.
Not only that, this cool concoction is great for degreasing that varmint gun, works wonders
as a rust remover and is absolutely lethal as rat poison. And hey, stick a burning rag in one
of these babies and you got yourself a molotov cocktail!
Now you can hurl it at your ex's car whenever she drives past! That oughta teach that bitch a
lesson for dumping you.
US$100 per bottle or US$1000 for a case of 12 (Bottle shape and label design might vary)
Life getting you down? Want to forget your troubles? Kids won't go to sleep when you want
to play FFXI? Don't know what wine goes with what food? Well don't fret! Help is at hand!
With the notED Moonshine, you can solve all the aforementioned problems...and more!
Great for all occasions, the notED Moonshine is the perfect beverage whether you want to
drown the sad burdens of your miserable life or impress that all important first date.
Not only that, this cool concoction is great for degreasing that varmint gun, works wonders
as a rust remover and is absolutely lethal as rat poison. And hey, stick a burning rag in one
of these babies and you got yourself a molotov cocktail!
Now you can hurl it at your ex's car whenever she drives past! That oughta teach that bitch a
lesson for dumping you.
US$100 per bottle or US$1000 for a case of 12 (Bottle shape and label design might vary)
Tastes like a son of a bitch.
notED Sleeping Gas
How many times have you had to yell "Mom I'm cleaning my room! Go away!" How many
times have you had to stop playing FFXI thanks to people coming over? How many times
have you wished you could cast Sleepga II in real life?
Well, now you can! With the notED Sleeping Gas now you can have the peace and quiet
you deserve. Send mom to sleepyland with just one quick blast of this baby to her face.
Or go for a long burst and take out a whole roomful of annoying incessantly nattering
chattering people. Knock out just one target or go for aoe the choice is yours.
Dog driving you mad with his crazy barking? No problem! notED Sleeping Gas works just
as well on animals.
Finally you have the power to enjoy FFXI or that latest issue of Swimsuit Illustrated in
peace whenever you want.
Available in 3 exciting scents, Chamomile, Rose, or Bacon. Gas mask included.
US$2000 s/h US$100 (Not for use against law enforcement or undead)
How many times have you had to yell "Mom I'm cleaning my room! Go away!" How many
times have you had to stop playing FFXI thanks to people coming over? How many times
have you wished you could cast Sleepga II in real life?
Well, now you can! With the notED Sleeping Gas now you can have the peace and quiet
you deserve. Send mom to sleepyland with just one quick blast of this baby to her face.
Or go for a long burst and take out a whole roomful of annoying incessantly nattering
chattering people. Knock out just one target or go for aoe the choice is yours.
Dog driving you mad with his crazy barking? No problem! notED Sleeping Gas works just
as well on animals.
Finally you have the power to enjoy FFXI or that latest issue of Swimsuit Illustrated in
peace whenever you want.
Available in 3 exciting scents, Chamomile, Rose, or Bacon. Gas mask included.
US$2000 s/h US$100 (Not for use against law enforcement or undead)
Say goodbye to unwanted interruptions
forever! Works great on those pesky door
to door sales men too!
forever! Works great on those pesky door
to door sales men too!
notED Chocolate Handgun
Made out of tasty chocolate and molded in the shape of a Colt Anaconda,
this is one gift that just can't miss.
Its the perfect valentines day or anniversary gift and is a great way to
introduce kids to guns.
Now you can show your appreciation to your local politicians and law
enforcement officers for all the hard work they do for you. And since they
are always so busy, we recommend that you run up to them real quick
when giving it to them.
US$650.00 (Free shipping and handling)
Made out of tasty chocolate and molded in the shape of a Colt Anaconda,
this is one gift that just can't miss.
Its the perfect valentines day or anniversary gift and is a great way to
introduce kids to guns.
Now you can show your appreciation to your local politicians and law
enforcement officers for all the hard work they do for you. And since they
are always so busy, we recommend that you run up to them real quick
when giving it to them.
US$650.00 (Free shipping and handling)
A great gift for that special someone, this is one treat she won't
hesitate to put in her mouth!
hesitate to put in her mouth!
notED Sack of Rabid Rodents
When you just have to leave, there's nothing quite like the notED Sack of Rabid Rodents
to get you out of a jam and let you be quickly on your way to where you want to go.
No more sitting in class or wasting away at work waiting for those endless minutes to
past. Just release a sack of these nasty little critters and you'll be on your way home to
your favorite past time in NO time!
Great for pranks and practical jokes, they make wonderful play pals for your pets too!
Just tie a sparkler to one of these little guys, let him loose and watch Rover go wild!
Some people tell us they're great as a snack too, although we wouldn't really
recommend it.
US$200 per sack s/h US$200 per sack (assortment of rodents might vary)
When you just have to leave, there's nothing quite like the notED Sack of Rabid Rodents
to get you out of a jam and let you be quickly on your way to where you want to go.
No more sitting in class or wasting away at work waiting for those endless minutes to
past. Just release a sack of these nasty little critters and you'll be on your way home to
your favorite past time in NO time!
Great for pranks and practical jokes, they make wonderful play pals for your pets too!
Just tie a sparkler to one of these little guys, let him loose and watch Rover go wild!
Some people tell us they're great as a snack too, although we wouldn't really
recommend it.
US$200 per sack s/h US$200 per sack (assortment of rodents might vary)
We recommend swinging the sack vigorously around for a
few minutes to get these little bastards really worked up.
Then untie the knot, step back, and RUN!
few minutes to get these little bastards really worked up.
Then untie the knot, step back, and RUN!
notED Luxury Automobile
Impress everyone on your block with the all new notED Luxury Automobile. Not only is this
fine example of automotive engineering a great joy to drive, it is a veritable showcase of
fine American workmanship, design and technology.
Imagine yourself cruisin' the hood, blasting your favorite tunes with the inbuilt tape deck.
From the handsome blue vinyl interior to that oh so soft suspension, this car just can't be
beat. Now THAT's the way to build a real luxury car.
And you also get custom paint detailing that includes our linshell name and your FFXI
name proudly displayed in the front. Show the world you're notED and get the accolades
that's due to you.
You better recognize! Foo!
US$300,000.00 Car only comes in white. Custom paint detailing in black and purple.
Impress everyone on your block with the all new notED Luxury Automobile. Not only is this
fine example of automotive engineering a great joy to drive, it is a veritable showcase of
fine American workmanship, design and technology.
Imagine yourself cruisin' the hood, blasting your favorite tunes with the inbuilt tape deck.
From the handsome blue vinyl interior to that oh so soft suspension, this car just can't be
beat. Now THAT's the way to build a real luxury car.
And you also get custom paint detailing that includes our linshell name and your FFXI
name proudly displayed in the front. Show the world you're notED and get the accolades
that's due to you.
You better recognize! Foo!
US$300,000.00 Car only comes in white. Custom paint detailing in black and purple.
Those Europeans have NO CLUE how to build a real luxury car. The only luxury
car ever offered by a FFXI Linkshell, this baby is guaranteed to become a classic.
Get yours today!
car ever offered by a FFXI Linkshell, this baby is guaranteed to become a classic.
Get yours today!
撃て
notED Customized Inflatable Doll
Ever hear those dreaded words "Honey let's cuddle!" right when its int? Don't know what
to do when your significant other wants to "just hold you" when you are trying to keep
chain? Help is here! Now you can focus in game and keep your special someone happy
at the same time!
With our superbly lifelike customized inflatable doll, you slip this baby right next to your
sweetie and they'll never know the difference! Now they can cuddle till their hearts' content
and you won't have to miss a single stun or skillchain or magic burst.
Now you can finally camp or merit in peace while providing your special someone with
comfort and support at the same time.
A truly indispensable implement in your quest for Final Fantasy supremacy and staying in
your loved one's good books.
US$100,000.00 (Comes with one notED sack of rabid rodents in case your ruse is discovered and you
need to bail.)
Ever hear those dreaded words "Honey let's cuddle!" right when its int? Don't know what
to do when your significant other wants to "just hold you" when you are trying to keep
chain? Help is here! Now you can focus in game and keep your special someone happy
at the same time!
With our superbly lifelike customized inflatable doll, you slip this baby right next to your
sweetie and they'll never know the difference! Now they can cuddle till their hearts' content
and you won't have to miss a single stun or skillchain or magic burst.
Now you can finally camp or merit in peace while providing your special someone with
comfort and support at the same time.
A truly indispensable implement in your quest for Final Fantasy supremacy and staying in
your loved one's good books.
US$100,000.00 (Comes with one notED sack of rabid rodents in case your ruse is discovered and you
need to bail.)
Keep your special someone feeling special and keep chain at
the same time! Who says you can't have your cake and eat it!
the same time! Who says you can't have your cake and eat it!
notED Clone
It's time for your SPT ... and your healer or tank is a no-show. Torn between being a tank
or stunner at HNM fights. Pal who promised to pl you suddenly had to take his dog to the
vet. What do you do!?
Enter the notED clone. With this guy who obeys your every order, you'll make two-boxing
look like last year's ipod. Your friends will be amazed how you can tank on one character
and refresh and cure and stun and yell at people to focus on another.
Send your clone to work while you stay at home and stare at the AH for hours on end! Get
yourself into a jam and come to your own rescue! Freak mom out! Talk to yourself on vent!
The possibilities are endless!
Now you can see what you look like in the shower.
US$500 million (Includes bus ticket to your house)
It's time for your SPT ... and your healer or tank is a no-show. Torn between being a tank
or stunner at HNM fights. Pal who promised to pl you suddenly had to take his dog to the
vet. What do you do!?
Enter the notED clone. With this guy who obeys your every order, you'll make two-boxing
look like last year's ipod. Your friends will be amazed how you can tank on one character
and refresh and cure and stun and yell at people to focus on another.
Send your clone to work while you stay at home and stare at the AH for hours on end! Get
yourself into a jam and come to your own rescue! Freak mom out! Talk to yourself on vent!
The possibilities are endless!
Now you can see what you look like in the shower.
US$500 million (Includes bus ticket to your house)
Gives the phrase 'go screw yourself' a whole new meaning.
notED Goons (STANDARD PACKAGE)
Asshole stole your girlfriend? Bully took your milk money? Putz wouldn't return the gil he
owes you? Boss interfering with your FFXI playtime? No problem! Just dial
1-800-FOR-GOONS and we'll go to work for you right away!
Instead of troubling yourself trying to figure out how to take care of life's slightly more
complicated problems, let our notED Goons do all the hard work for you.
These seasoned tough Russian goons are strong, dependable and always get the job
done right. Knowledgeable in kidnapping and extortion these multi purpose tough guys
make great henchmen too. Now, instead of figuring out how to avoid or pay off your loan
shark, you can show up with these Russkis and make him pay YOU.
Trained to say cute little phrases like "lol!" and "wtf?!" this adorable trio will keep you
amused for hours.
Now you can call ANYONE dickweed and get away with it.
US$10,000.00 per goon per day.
Asshole stole your girlfriend? Bully took your milk money? Putz wouldn't return the gil he
owes you? Boss interfering with your FFXI playtime? No problem! Just dial
1-800-FOR-GOONS and we'll go to work for you right away!
Instead of troubling yourself trying to figure out how to take care of life's slightly more
complicated problems, let our notED Goons do all the hard work for you.
These seasoned tough Russian goons are strong, dependable and always get the job
done right. Knowledgeable in kidnapping and extortion these multi purpose tough guys
make great henchmen too. Now, instead of figuring out how to avoid or pay off your loan
shark, you can show up with these Russkis and make him pay YOU.
Trained to say cute little phrases like "lol!" and "wtf?!" this adorable trio will keep you
amused for hours.
Now you can call ANYONE dickweed and get away with it.
US$10,000.00 per goon per day.
Let Vassily, Piotr and Oleg take care of life's little problems
for you! Never a fee too large or a job too small for these
guys!
for you! Never a fee too large or a job too small for these
guys!
notED Goon (ECONOMY PACKAGE)
Can't afford our Hired Muscle Standard Package? No problem! Our economy package
takes care of business at a very reasonable price too!
Trained in the deepest recesses of a godforsaken, festering, malaria-infested deep
jungle hellhole, this disillusioned, mean little ex guerrilla-fighter will take out your most
hated enemies with impunity.
Armed with his trusty 7.62 X 39mm SKS rifle with integral bayonet and pouch of trusty
pungi sticks, this nasty little rat man is ready to go to work for you.
Whether its shaking down kids for some milk money or picking up your dry cleaning or
ambushing the mailman just for kicks, this guy does it all!
What's more this guy does not know the meaning of the word fear, cause, like, he don't
speak no English. Haw haw! We kill us.
US$0.25 and two packs of cigarettes (any brand but no menthols please) per day.
Can't afford our Hired Muscle Standard Package? No problem! Our economy package
takes care of business at a very reasonable price too!
Trained in the deepest recesses of a godforsaken, festering, malaria-infested deep
jungle hellhole, this disillusioned, mean little ex guerrilla-fighter will take out your most
hated enemies with impunity.
Armed with his trusty 7.62 X 39mm SKS rifle with integral bayonet and pouch of trusty
pungi sticks, this nasty little rat man is ready to go to work for you.
Whether its shaking down kids for some milk money or picking up your dry cleaning or
ambushing the mailman just for kicks, this guy does it all!
What's more this guy does not know the meaning of the word fear, cause, like, he don't
speak no English. Haw haw! We kill us.
US$0.25 and two packs of cigarettes (any brand but no menthols please) per day.
We couldn't pronounce his name but you
can call him Ringo. Cause he's a star,
baby!
can call him Ringo. Cause he's a star,
baby!
Al Gore Book about something
Something to do between ints.
Occasionally makes you yawn twice.
Additional effect: Sleep
Out of stock
Something to do between ints.
Occasionally makes you yawn twice.
Additional effect: Sleep
Out of stock
WTF is this sh@#?!
notED Rocket Tank
Mad with the world and don't know how to vent your anger? Errant, wayward linkshell members
infuriating you with their renegade antics or sloppy performance? Want to show everybody out there
who's really boss? Make your righteous fury and displeasure known today!
This ex Russian rocket tank is based on the chassis of the venerable T-72 with the launcher mounted
in place of the regular tank turret. That's 30, count 'em! 30 rounds of fiery death at your disposal! Each
220mm rocket is armed with a thermobaric warhead and has a range of 5 kilometers. A full salvo
from this rolling behemoth of death is guaranteed, that's right guaranteed, to fully destroy an area 800
yards by 200 yards. That's 16 football fields!
Make your rage known to the world. With the Noted Rocket Tank you can drive and park anywhere,
anytime and anyway and destroy anyone or anything you want to. Let's see those bastards even try to
pull you over or tow your ass!
Now you can teach that stubborn, insubordinate, back talking linkshell member a lesson he'll never
forget. We bet he'll never make that mistake again, actually he won't be doing much of anything ever
again, seeing how you would have reduced him, his computer, and his whole neighborhood into a
pile of smoldering cinder.
There's just no better way to engage in a show of force and make a statement about your fragile
mental state at the same time! Order yours now before they're all gone!
US$50 million plus s/h US$6.95 (includes one salvo of 220mm rockets and free custom detailing)
Mad with the world and don't know how to vent your anger? Errant, wayward linkshell members
infuriating you with their renegade antics or sloppy performance? Want to show everybody out there
who's really boss? Make your righteous fury and displeasure known today!
This ex Russian rocket tank is based on the chassis of the venerable T-72 with the launcher mounted
in place of the regular tank turret. That's 30, count 'em! 30 rounds of fiery death at your disposal! Each
220mm rocket is armed with a thermobaric warhead and has a range of 5 kilometers. A full salvo
from this rolling behemoth of death is guaranteed, that's right guaranteed, to fully destroy an area 800
yards by 200 yards. That's 16 football fields!
Make your rage known to the world. With the Noted Rocket Tank you can drive and park anywhere,
anytime and anyway and destroy anyone or anything you want to. Let's see those bastards even try to
pull you over or tow your ass!
Now you can teach that stubborn, insubordinate, back talking linkshell member a lesson he'll never
forget. We bet he'll never make that mistake again, actually he won't be doing much of anything ever
again, seeing how you would have reduced him, his computer, and his whole neighborhood into a
pile of smoldering cinder.
There's just no better way to engage in a show of force and make a statement about your fragile
mental state at the same time! Order yours now before they're all gone!
US$50 million plus s/h US$6.95 (includes one salvo of 220mm rockets and free custom detailing)
The ultimate SUV, this monster will give new meaning to the phrase 'Firestorm of
Fury'. Cops will be scrambling to get out of your way and errant linkshell members
will start falling in line while slackers will pick it up in no time as soon as they hear
this baby's engine starting up!
Fury'. Cops will be scrambling to get out of your way and errant linkshell members
will start falling in line while slackers will pick it up in no time as soon as they hear
this baby's engine starting up!
notED Strategic Thermonuclear Strike
Holy smokes.
Had it with inept politicians not being able to take care of business? Tired of seeing our boys losing their lives in worthless third world countries? Worried
about losing your job to some foreign sweatshop? Take matters into your own hands.....now.
With the help of a (what else) ex-Russian TU-95 Tupolev Bear Long Range Bomber and the Tsar Bomba, the largest strategic weapon ever built, you can now
change the course of history to suit you.
Unleash your anger and frustration with 100 MEGATONS of pure thermonuclear fury! By comparison, the largest warhead in the American nuclear arsenal is
only about 300 kilotons, which means you'll have more than 300 times more apocalyptic destructive power at your command!
about losing your job to some foreign sweatshop? Take matters into your own hands.....now.
With the help of a (what else) ex-Russian TU-95 Tupolev Bear Long Range Bomber and the Tsar Bomba, the largest strategic weapon ever built, you can now
change the course of history to suit you.
Unleash your anger and frustration with 100 MEGATONS of pure thermonuclear fury! By comparison, the largest warhead in the American nuclear arsenal is
only about 300 kilotons, which means you'll have more than 300 times more apocalyptic destructive power at your command!
The Tsar Bomba. Nothing like 100 MEGATONS of righteous thermonuclear annihilation to put the fear of
God into all those rat bastard heathen nations and set things straight.
God into all those rat bastard heathen nations and set things straight.
Be a hero at your local bar or your next union
meeting! You'll never have to buy your own drinks
ever again!
Save our troops the trouble of fighting in all these
godforsaken places with names we can't even
pronounce.
Send all those heathen religious nuts on the
ultimate magic carpet ride to Paradise and be
done with them once and for all.
No more giant sucking sounds of jobs going
south thanks to NAFTA (It's kinda hard sending
work to El Salvador if it doesn't exist anymore) or
whiny little French pussies complaining about
every single little thing. (Damn if it wasn't for us
those ungrateful bastards will all be speaking
German...or maybe even Russian)
And gil sellers? Forget about it! Send them to the
Mordian Gaol in the sky and reduce whatever
worthless country they live in into atoms! Uphold
the TOA and reduce the carbon footprint at the
same time.
And best of all, you can rest assured that no one
will ever, ever f@#k with you anymore.
US$1 billion
(MIG-21 fighter escort complimentary, includes one
picture taken at time of detonation)
meeting! You'll never have to buy your own drinks
ever again!
Save our troops the trouble of fighting in all these
godforsaken places with names we can't even
pronounce.
Send all those heathen religious nuts on the
ultimate magic carpet ride to Paradise and be
done with them once and for all.
No more giant sucking sounds of jobs going
south thanks to NAFTA (It's kinda hard sending
work to El Salvador if it doesn't exist anymore) or
whiny little French pussies complaining about
every single little thing. (Damn if it wasn't for us
those ungrateful bastards will all be speaking
German...or maybe even Russian)
And gil sellers? Forget about it! Send them to the
Mordian Gaol in the sky and reduce whatever
worthless country they live in into atoms! Uphold
the TOA and reduce the carbon footprint at the
same time.
And best of all, you can rest assured that no one
will ever, ever f@#k with you anymore.
US$1 billion
(MIG-21 fighter escort complimentary, includes one
picture taken at time of detonation)